Day 299 – At A Loss for Words

effort

Zencast 296 – Perfection of Effort

Today is the first day in a long while when I’ve sat down and truly been at a loss for words. My mind is blank of ideas and inspiration. Even the Zencast today wasn’t enough to kick-start me into a post.

I guess this is true for anything I put effort into. Sometimes no matter how hard I try, I find myself at a loss. I can sit on the cushion for ten minutes without a single second of relief from the flow of thoughts in my mind. I can attend a yoga class or do yoga by myself at home, but no matter how hard I practice, or try to relax into the Asanas, my body stays tense and inflexible.

This is where acceptance is the key: acceptance that I don’t have much to say today, acceptance that my thoughts and mind are racing, acceptance that my body is unyielding to yoga practice.

Does that acceptance mean that I should also give up on the possibility of change? A friend of mine asked this question today on Facebook. He said friends of his were complaining that all this protesting about this and that accomplishes nothing, so why do it?

I disagree with that apathetic view. I accept that sometimes my efforts may reap no benefits, but if there is something I care about then I will do my best to fight for it, practice it, protest for it. Even if nothing changes (which as a believer of impermanence is impossible in my mind), at least I can say I tried my best to make a change for the better for myself or the world.

If my thoughts never stop racing, if I never have another word to write or say, if my body never bends any further than it already does, at least I can say that I tried my best to make a change for the better.

I rather spend my time loving and lose, than never love at all.

Namaste

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Comments
2 Responses to “Day 299 – At A Loss for Words”
  1. Well, for the past few days I found myself not only at a loss for words, but also totally unable to observe my thoughts. My awareness is clouded more than usual. Worse, it seems I forgot how to meditate. It’s not a pleasant realization. I guess I’ll have to observe this cloud for a while and make peace with it and some other not so pleasant emotions. Would you call it “awareness” block?

    • Interesting. Yet you are aware that your awareness is clouded so there seems to be hope! The only problem I would see is if you had awareness block and were unaware of it. Awareness block sounds like a great description. I know what you mean. Just another of those phases I guess. Difficult one for sure. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you would have to make peace with it and observe it for a while. That sounds like something Gil would say to do :) Good luck and let me know how it goes and if your block clears.

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