Day 302 – Just another earthling…
It was lying in wait. It could have been in my shoe. I innocently wandered into the kitchen, stuffing my feet into TOMS as I went because I had dropped a glass bottle the day before, which had smashed all across the floor. Only when I turned around from my stance at the kitchen counter did I see it. A body an inch long and eight long, hairy, spindly legs. Luckily, I couldn’t see its beady eyes ogling me from across the room.
I took a deep breath. How was I going to get myself out of this spider situation? What a decision to have to make at 7:30 in the morning right before a Jivamukti lesson where I would learn more about ahimsa (non-violence) and veganism.
My breathing was shallow, my body was shaking, I was frozen to the spot. I was literally having a panic attack at the prospect of having to deal with a spider sitting, minding it’s business on the kitchen floor.
Normally I would have tried for the jar or bucket method. In fact a paint bucket sat within arms reach, but the spider had wedged itself into a corner and there was no way I could get it under the bucket without it running at me baring its fangs. Well, that’s what I imagined anyway (stories of people bitten by brown recluses flooded my brain).
I really didn’t want to kill it. I told the spider so. I stood for at least five minutes trying to decide if there was anything I could do except kill it. Then I could take it no more. I grabbed a broom and slammed it in the spiders direction. It immediately curled up into a ball, but I could tell it wasn’t dead and I had to be sure before I turned my back and then found it crawling half way up my leg. I gave it a couple more smacks with the broom. It didn’t make any further movements. I moved the air around the room wishing the spider into Buddhahood in its next life before sweeping it out the back door, setting off the alarm in the process. Talk about stress.
Then I thought about it all day. The spider came to me in meditation. I felt it crawling all over my body. I tiptoed around the house expecting to find it back in its place when I got back from yoga. I felt terrible. I felt like a murderer, especially after watching Earthlings. And you don’t need to ask if there’s a possibility of me becoming a vegan. After watching the film, I am one.
Earthlings is an intense movie. It’s horror and gore and violence all the way, but without the glamorous actors and fake blood. The blood is real, it’s everywhere and our human hands are soaked in it.
I can understand why people don’t want to watch that film. I didn’t either, but the filmmaker and my yoga teacher asked that I would. So, I did. I’m still traumatized. And if I thought that Super Size Me was enough to put me off fast food for life, this film just magnified that ten fold. Even thinking of the Newman’s Own Italian Sausage pasta sauce in my kitchen makes me want to throw up. Not only that, but now whenever I put on my leather boots I’ll be thinking of all the poor animal souls that were killed in a horrific manner so that I could be fashionable.
Yet, for as distressing as the film was, it was an important lesson not only in non-violence and the killing of animals (and spiders) for human interest, but also a lesson for me on where I am in my spiritual journey. As I watched literally hundreds of animals being killed, maimed or harmed in different ways during this film, tears streamed down my face. I pulled at my face and hair in my attempt to comprehend what makes humans so desensitized to the obvious suffering of other creatures (many for whom hurting animals was done for fun) that they would take part in the ritualistic killing of other sentient beings.
Like my yoga teacher, Brent, said in class – not everyone wants to be a yogi. It is a special calling to the few who feel compelled to find out the answer to the question that haunts their lives – what are we missing experiencing in this life that we can feel is out there, but find to be unreachable? He also reminded me that one of the most political things we can do in this lifetime is choose what we put into our mouths. My political activism went up about five notches.
Today was intense physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, but I loved every second. I also loved the fact that I felt so open and free after class. I ended up talking to a complete stranger in Home Depot for about fifteen minutes (okay, well I did most of the listening). That was then followed by a twenty-minute conversation, mostly about films, with someone I met at the filmmaker’s mixer on Thursday night who I bumped into at Target.
This must be what it feels like to be open to the universe through spiritual practice. This must be what it feels like to really care for all the souls of this earth (including the spider who I sought forgiveness from during the chakra balancing practice). This must be what it feels like to be at one with the earth.
May you pass on any non-harming spider handling tips if you have any because I’m at a total loss.
Namaste
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Related articles
- Watch EARTHLINGS Online (itseasybeingvegan.com)
- Earthlings (proveganlife.wordpress.com)
- Earthlings (goneflyingakite.wordpress.com)
- Earthlings: documentary about humanity’s use of animals (lostateminor.com)
- Happy day! A spider catcher (writefullymine.wordpress.com)
- EARTHLINGS, Make the Connection (ourpeaceablekingdom.wordpress.com)
- Prayer for the Animals (realmanure.wordpress.com)
Thanx for a thoughtful post, and I wish you success on your ‘spiritual journey”
Namaste.
Thank you! Namaste