Day 359 – Just Nothing

empty

Zencast 356 – The Perfume of Dharma

For the first time on this year-long journey I have nothing to say. Nothing to share. Nothing to remark on. Nothing that I haven’t already explained, complained or exalted on these pages.

I can’t even listen to the Zencast for inspiration. I tried, but Jack Kornfield’s voice fluttered in and out of my awareness.

I’m not really here I guess. Am I already flying away?

I normally find that when I’m groundless in life I find solid ground in this blog, but I tend to get this way at the end of things. I pull away, as a means of protecting myself.

I’m not sure if I’m doing that now. I feel pretty numb this evening, although if you’d been with me about an hour ago, that statement would make you laugh.

I really don’t know what’s going on. There’s nothing. Just nothing.

May tomorrow bring more of whatever we all need.

Namaste

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Comments
6 Responses to “Day 359 – Just Nothing”
  1. Matthew says:

    Nice running into you the other day. I really enjoy your blog and admire you for keeping with it. There’s a book called Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert that you might find interesting. It’s a psychology book about our expectations of happiness and how we all measure it differently. Maybe it could inspire you or give a new perspective. Anyway, congratulations on seeing the blog through to the end.

    • Hey Matthew! It was great running into you and thanks for the tip about the book. I bet I would enjoy that :) Thanks for reading. I’m sure I”ll feel a bit lost when I no longer ‘have to’ blog everyday, but I’ve enjoyed the journey and glad it’s coming to an end. I know you appreciate sticking with a project to completion! Can’t wait to see that happen in both our cases.

  2. SteveA says:

    You feel empty? Congratulations. That is awareness of emptiness. Numb? Ah, no, not so good. Feed your heart with love. You’ll feel again. Maybe you’re medicating pain with numbness? I can’t know.

    Those seeds of all experiences are beyond your ability to squash them, even unconsciously. So never give up hope; there is just a path, there is no desperation or loss. Feed what you want to have and it will come back. This is the magic land of your soul!

    I must want chaos and disruption. That’s all I seem to have today, yet I am grateful someone near me understands when I look at him in the eye in the middle of the chaos erupting and say quietly:

    aum.

    namaste,
    Steve

  3. I’ve been having a few days like that myself. I thought perhaps it was due to a change of diet (I am re-introducing dairy and gluten after a 5 year break due to allergies). I’m not sure though. But I totally get where you are coming from. I am quite numb at the moment also.

    • Honestly, I know exactly what is going on with me right now…but it’s not something I can really divulge to my readers…:) But it doesn’t lessen the difficulty of the moment even though I know it will pass and I can feel it lifting little by little. Interesting that you have reintroduced diary and gluten. I hope that doesn’t cause you problems. I gave up trying to reintroduce dairy by becoming vegan, but to be honest I just can’t do it after 33 years of eating the stuff. My body just repels it. I hope it works for you though. Sorry to hear you too are feeling the way I am. Mind you, I think I sometimes confuse numbness with the ability to sit back a little more and watch my inner emotional turmoil play itself out without reacting. When I’ve been numb in the past it has also come with apathy, and I am anything but apathetic right now. Over whelmed and trying not to let that overtake my life, but not apathetic. I hope you find some relief from what you’re feeling or that you can at least find peace with it by sitting with it and examining it. Take care my friend _/\_

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