Day 173 – Confidence

confidence

Zencast 173 – Confidence

I take refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha.
I believe in the Five Precepts.
I follow the Eight Fold Path as best I can.
I have great teachers whose teachings never fail to inspire me daily.
I have a wonderful online Sangha who constantly push me to do better, be better and write better about my practice.
I am constantly bombarded by interconnection through my online presence with people struggling to prevent suffering just as I am.
I have confidence in my practice.
I notice the improvements in my life from daily mindfulness and meditation (okay, maybe not daily) practice.
I can’t believe how much I’ve changed for the better in the years that I have been practicing (on and off).
I have confidence that the path is life long and therefore full of stumbling blocks and periods of deep questioning.
I have confidence that many of the answers I seek will not be answered soon.
I have confidence that even if it takes me my whole life to find the answers I’m looking for my practice is still beneficial to me.
I have confidence that even if I never get any of the answers I’m looking for in this lifetime my practice is still beneficial to me.
I have confidence that this is the path I’ve been looking for all my life and I have confidence that I’ve found it.

Why then, with all this confidence, faith, belief and certainty do I find any excuse under the sun not to sit? Why is meditation the last scribbled note on my priority list of things ‘to do’ in a day filled with the requests and priorities of others? Why, with all the benefits I see in my life so far, do I sweep them under the rug and become lackadaisical about reaping further benefits through continuous cultivated practice?

Am I lazy? Is there a lack of confidence that is subconscious and therefore one I don’t realize exists? Or is it simply that I don’t value myself enough to make me the priority, to make my practice the priority, to make my happiness and suffering a priority? Am I so used to following the priorities of others after years of shoving down and blowing off my own Buddha Nature that it’s difficult not to enter that mindless automatic pilot again?

I don’t have any answers.

A lot of questions are coming up right now.

I guess this is another step in the practice.

The question is whether or not I have the confidence to examine these questions, take action and believe that I will get through this period of questioning and still practice on the other side.

That is real confidence and I guess only time will tell.

Namaste
—–

Here’s someone who died for their confidence. May he rest in peace and nirvana.

Here’s a family that seek a lot of confidence today as their baby Grace goes in for heart surgery. Prayers are with you today Grace. (Drop A Love Bomb is a great way of showing the world confidence in the love we have for each other as humans.)

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Comments
17 Responses to “Day 173 – Confidence”
  1. Jorge says:

    Like everything in life, it takes time for any habit to take a hold in our daily lives. In one book I read about the brain, the author was saying that the neural paths (habits, thoughts, beliefs, etc.) are like roads that the more you use them, the deeper they become in your brain. By following your practice you are actually creating new neural paths, but your mind will always want to take the road already laid out and not create a new one, that takes effort and happens to all of us. When I get frustrated with my practice, I always remind myself that I am changing more than 30 years of neural paths already created in my brain so I must be patient, then I look back and actually I see that I am doing ok. I learn so much more from people who share their struggles than from the ones who claim that everything is perfect.

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