Day 279 – The Torn-up Twisted Space In Between
I’m in permanent flinch mode. Everything that arises causes me to flinch and it’s bringing out the worst in my personality. I feel that after all the steps I took in 2011 to practice the path and change my thinking for the better, all this flinching is taking me back to a neurotic, fear-based, monkey-mind square one.
My new house is causing me to flinch (I am painting rather than moving in). Work is causing me to flinch (I take on projects and then moan about them constantly, which is really the resistance talking). I meet new people, and old, who cause me to flinch (I want to hang out, but then find a million excuses why I can’t – there goes the fear, but of what exactly? hmmm).
Flinching makes me want to run. It restores my fight or flight primal response that automatically switches to flight for every situation. Flinching makes me want to run down the street letting my ego yell obscenities at passersby. It makes me want to hurt the people around me that I love simply because I’m feeling so torn up and twisted inside that I need someone else to take some of that pain away.
Yet, I guess this is exactly where the juice is. Like Jane Boyd described in her blog post, moving into the flinching/ embracing the flinching opens up the space around that torn up twisted place inside of me that’s already bolting out the door. It allows for exploration, for new pathways to be created, new possibilities to be met. And in that space I’ve found the most interesting situations have arisen lately.
I’ve met people who I never thought I would have anything in common with, and they’ve become instant allies. I’ve been given opportunities I could never have dreamed of that have led me to work I’m passionate about just because I was sitting in the space in between. I’ve also been given a mirror to see my true self as others really see me (rather than what I believe they see me as) that has helped me show more compassion to myself and realize that the perfectionist in me is never really disappears.
I’ve never been one to run towards the things in life that hurt the most with open arms, but I have to say that there’s definitely something in moving towards those situations in life that strike a scary chord inside. In my experience, flinching is a sign of moving towards that which makes us uncomfortable. This may seem like a crazy thing to do, but as it turns out, everything in this life that I’m passionate about makes me uncomfortable in most ways (probably because in following those passions and failing I have the most to lose). The things I’m passionate about freak me out, turn up the resistance and yet make me happier than I’ve ever been before.
So, the next time you flinch, stop and think. Are you going to stay and fight through it for the prize on the other side or will you simply fly away?
- My Life is About to Change in a Flinch (converstations.com)
- Get This Book: Julien Smith’s “The Flinch” (jchutchins.net)
- Overcoming The Flinch (socialmediaexplorer.com)
- Flinch Harder (chrisbrogan.com)
- “why you won’t make the hard decisions” and how The Flinch will help you change that (chelpixie.com)
- Is Your Flinch Response Holding You Back? (twistimage.com)
- The Flinch – A Dangerous Read (cc-chapman.com)
- Day 241 – To Belong (ayearoflivingwisely.wordpress.com)