Day 294 – The Promise of The Cushion


Zencast 291 – What Are We Not Conscious Of

I was fussy and unhelpful this morning when my brother needed his car charger from the car, which he lent me last night. I didn’t want to have to get up, run outside into the cold and see if it was really there just to find he’d left it in the office. He had to come over to my place to fetch it for himself (it was there – I felt bad). I apologized later and told him I wasn’t good in the mornings. His response: not everyone is a morning person. Fair enough, but could it just be this morning that found me curling up in the bed sheets and my own ego?

I went out about my day. In Target the Starbucks barista apologized for scratching my hand as he handed me my change. I told him I would live, with a grin. He smiled back. In the food section, an item of food fell off the shelves as I passed. A lady walking towards me commented with a laugh that the package had simply jumped off the shelf. I laughed in agreement, nodding my head while placing it back onto the shelf beside me. The cashier then continued my ‘better mood’ as she gave me a warm greeting and chatting with me about the upcoming weekend. I left the store smiling, feeling good about myself and the day.

Maybe I wasn’t in such a bad, pernickety mood after all. Maybe my brother was just got the brunt of all my negativity?

At the bank the pleasantries and smiles continued. I deposited a check into my account that was long overdue. If felt good to be putting money in, even though half of that money was being withdrawn in Ohio at that precise moment for my medical expenses in November.

I then went on to do much needed food shopping in Publix, the only place I can get a variety of foods that are dairy-free. This time I didn’t forget my purse! I even remembered to hand over my UPromise card to start racking up those dollars for my niece’s education.

And then it happened. I chose a cashier who looked at me approaching as if to say, I’m just about to close the register. She did greet me, but when I handed over my card she swiped it and told me it wasn’t registered. She did it very matter-of-factly. There was nothing wrong with her approach. I just decided she was making me feel fed-up.

“What?” I asked her. “That’s impossible. I registered it online.”

“Well, it’s says it’s not registered.”

I stood there trying to keep myself calm, but I could feel the red mist rising up from my feet towards my chest. I knew it wasn’t her fault. It was stupid Publix for making it too difficult to register the bl*&^y card. And the cashier was so unhelpful. I had to ask her how to register it (I truly thought I had registered it on the UPromise website a month ago) and her response was just to ‘go online’. I wanted to scream seeing as this was the second $100+ Publix purchase I couldn’t add onto my niece’s account (you can’t back date). Don’t these people know how much I spend in their store on groceries due to my inability to digest dairy? The cheek.

I muttered to myself after sullenly saying thank you to the cashier for ringing me up. I refused the help of the lady bagging my groceries when she offered to push them out to the car. I needed that ten meter walk to stomp out all my sudden and furious frustration.

“So typical. Why do they have to make it so hard? Don’t they know that other stores activate the card as soon as you use it the first time IN THE STORE? What is their problem? Publix drives me nuts.”

Anyone watching me would have thought I was a nutter. Talking to myself. Tossing bags into the car. Clenching my teeth as I took the cart to the cart collection zone. Backing out of the car park making funny faces to myself.

So much for my calm smiles and jolly chuckles in Target. So much for my ‘better mood’. So much for some cents added to my niece’s UPromise account.

Simply another example of a day of non-practice for you!

Cushion…WHERE ARE YOU????


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