Day 303 – Nadam – Listening for the Unstruck Sound
Now is the time to turn my weekend warrior into my weekly warrior; I’m out on my own in the world with a new mission of becoming the best yogi I can be.
I’ve sung devotionals, prostrated before the altar, bent and twisted my body every which way. I’ve done way more inversions than I care to remember and pushed my body to the limits of its comfort. I hit the fear barrier several times, but was still happy to go back for more.
At this point it’s my turn to take the lessons Brent taught me and go out into the world with them. On one hand that makes me incredibly excited that I can begin to really practice life using values I hold to be deeply true. On the other hand it leaves me sad knowing that it may be a long time before I feel the community and camaraderie I felt during my weekend warrior course again.
Of course, there will be classes I can attend, workshops I can join and the community at the yoga center where I intend to keep practicing, but it won’t be the same five of us sharing our struggles with practice while doing our best to listen deeply to ourselves and each other. With every beginning there comes an end. This situation is no different.
I feel a huge sense of gratitude to my teacher Brent for allowing me to be one of his first warrior weekend participants. I also feel deep gratitude towards the other students who allowed me to be a part of their journey towards whatever it is they are seeking. Often times we felt vulnerable and emotional to the core. I know that I wanted to cry at one point during our last open level class when Brent said something about opening up to our emotions no matter what they are while I was struggling to enter plank pose and my arms felt like they would give way beneath me. I know my fellow students felt similarly. That is what connected us all on a deeper level that can’t be ignored. It feels weird to know I might not see some of them again even after spending such an intimate time with them all, breathing, sweating and practicing in tandem. I definitely formed bond with everyone person in our group that are deeper than the connections I would have with other acquaintances I had spent a weekend with doing something else with, anything else.
I am also grateful for all the deep listening I did this weekend. Practice makes doing this so much easier as I was able to watch my mind as I sat listening. My mind wanted to move onto what it had to say rather than focus on what was being said by the group, but meditation helped me to hold it back. It was important to listen, important to be with everyone and listen to them as deeply as I could.
On the second day of the course we also took some time to listen for nadam – the unstruck sound – during meditation. It sounded to me like deep space, or a rocket ship blasting into space from very far away. Maybe that makes no sense. Maybe you had to be there, but that’s what I sensed.
As I find with a lot of things in my life right now, this weekend warrior program came at just the right moment. It was the unstruck sound I needed to hear – the next step in my spiritual journey. For that I thank the universe for dishing out the Dharma I need for this next period of my life.
May you and all my fellow Jivamukti warriors receive the Dharma needed at this time.
And in the spirit of compassion and love I open my heart up to you all and say I love you. Even though I may not know you, I sense you, and send my love out to you.