Day 333 – Forget World Peace. Try Home Peace.

Home Peace

Zencast 330 – Four Noble Truths – Part 3

I need to let go of the story I attach to the end of my meditation.

This is the thought that jumped into my brain this afternoon as I meditated with the help of Kelsang Nyema. She was back in Savannah giving us a talk on forgiveness, and while I didn’t have anything in particular on my mind that required forgiveness, as it turned out the talk was still very much the Dharma I needed.

In fact Nyema’s talk was full of AHA moments for me. Some of which I no longer remember, but I know they are understood deep within me. Others stick with me because they are directly related to what I’m experiencing right now – fear over not being able to find a new job, frustration surrounding a new relationship, sadness at the fact that I’m relying on others to find happiness.

Yet, the most important moment for me was during my meditation when I was thinking about how important it is for me to attach a story to the end of my meditation. I love to beat myself up or explain to others how difficult/ easy/ amazing/ horrible/ exalting/ terrifying my meditation of the day was. I recognize now that on several occasions I actually anticipated the recounting of the practice to others instead of focusing on the meditation itself.

It has been very important to me that I grade myself after each sitting practice. No wonder I find it so hard to sit!

Today was different, however. Once I had this insight during the meditation, I let go of any story that was building up in my mind. Or at least I think I did.

In actual fact, I’m holding onto story by recounting it here. I guess the difference is that I’m not recounting the emotion of the meditative moment as much as the joy I felt afterwards having discovered its insight.

Ultimately, it’s hard for me not to attach to the story of my experiences and journey when I have the intention of blogging about it each day. With that in mind, it’s possible that the real juice of practice might not surface and survive until I’m finished with this journey.

32 days to go… and then what happens next?!!!

Namaste

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Comments
2 Responses to “Day 333 – Forget World Peace. Try Home Peace.”
  1. Listening to your “observer” is a beautiful thing. Thank you for sharing. I look forward to more posts. Blessings, Amy

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