Day 349 – I’m Empty


Zencast 346 – Recognizing Emptiness

Tonight I’m empty of answers. Empty of excuses. Empty of reasoning and understanding. Empty of stories, and almost even of questions.

There comes a time when you simply have to accept and let go.

During these times I take solace in a growing list of quotes that remind me I’m not alone in my personal turmoil.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe, and have faith that everything will work out for the best. – Unknown

Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place. – Unknown

Funny thing is that even as I write this I feel like a fool because things are falling into place so wonderfully that I can hardly believe the blessings in my life.

It’s duality at its best. My internal world may need a good hug, but my external world is full of joy and wonder. However, I guess what this really proves is that my heart is truly full of joy and wonder, it’s just my thoughts that are making me think otherwise.

Oh ego, you know just how to fool me every time!



If you need a bit of encouragement along the path, check out this documentary I watched today after becoming a sustaining member on – The Dhamma Brothers.

If these guys can sit everyday and face their worst demons, then I for sure can do it too. I’m also thinking that a 10-day Vipassana retreat is just what the Buddha in me ordered. Ahhh. I’m scared, but I’m ready for it. Now I just have to find one nearby. My ultimate fantasy would be to do a retreat in Redwood City with Gil. Just putting that out into the universe cause you never know what could happen :)

6 Responses to “Day 349 – I’m Empty”
  1. SteveA says:

    Thank you Ange, for your insight. The duality of emptiness/fullness mirrors that of the bubbling over fullness of mental life and its complete and utter lack of anything independently existing.

    I would further suggest that not only are our pages empty, our selves are empty, but by definition *everything* is empty, except perhaps emptiness itself. It is the formless void from which all form manifests. Is this me playing games, or am I getting it?

    Perhaps my ego is too attached to the idea of emptiness and mental spiritual materialism, but I am reminded that emptiness IS form and form IS emptiness. Some smart guy told me about it and I am working on understanding it from the inside out. :)

    I am suspecting I also feel a calling to go to a retreat. I am proud of you for following your heart and your spirit. I am crazy now chasing money and sitting and exercising helps me cope with that insanity. Send some blue medicine buddha my way if you feel compassion or empathy. Metta meditation is truly a wonderful thing. I will send my energy your way for your path to be clear and that your time on that path is a shining time in your life.


    • As always, thanks Steve! I don’t think you are playing games, I think you are getting it, but then I just read this great quote in a Pema book from Saraha (a teacher of Crazy Wisdom) – “Those who believe everything is solid and real are stupid, like cattle, but those who believe that everything is empty are even more stupid.” Hehe. And then there’s the fact that in Pema’s book ‘Start Where You Are’ the slogans all end up pointing to the fact that you should understand, but not understand and at that point you will be a child of illusion and that is the best place to be. So, I think it’s brilliant that you think you are getting it, but then are worried you therefore don’t get it. You are in the perfect place Steve!

      I am starting Tonglen practice to help me with my inner turmoil right now so I will definitely send some of that your way. Off the metta practice right now, but when I do that again I will definitely send some out to you aswell.

      Thank you dear friend! _/\_

  2. You know I am Gil’s biggest fan lol, so I am very envious – I would love to do that too :-). So I am going to put it out there into the universe also :-). I’ve been looking at and deliberating on whether or not to become a member – would you recommend it?

    • LOL, definitely. Put it out there :) You just never know. My biggest issue is how far away I am from the center. When I move to LA I will definitely do it. In terms of Tricycle – I have been a basic member for about a year and I joined the film festival last year (I think it was) and that was enough for me. However, they have been playing some great movies and I really enjoy them (being a cinephile) so, for me it has been worth it to pay for the year. I am looking forward to getting their digital magazines, but haven’t ever read them before. I would recommend it if you enjoy inspiring films. Otherwise I’ll keep you posted and let you know if it turns out to be as beneficial as I hope it will be :)

      • I know what you mean – with living in Australia it’s even more of a dream for me lol. But one day I will make it happen! :-). Thank you so much for that – I look forward to reading more about Tricycle. I watched that video you linked yesterday, and I am really interested to see more. I note they also have a book, but unfortunately there is no Kindle version, and library doesn’t have it. I will keep searching :-)

      • Oh wow. I didn’t realize you were that far away!!! I have to stop complaining now :) It’s really worth a watch. Don’t know about the book. I haven’t seen it anywhere around here unfortunately. Good luck with your search and if you find it let me know what you think :)

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