Day 357 – The Freedom To Practice
We become part of a lineage of people who have cultivated their bravery throughout history, people who, against enormous odds, have stayed open to great difficulties and painful situations and transformed them into the path of awakening. We will fall flat on our faces again and again, we will continue to feel inadequate, and we can use these experiences to wake up, just as they did. The lojong teachings give us the means to connect with the power of our lineage, the lineage of gentle warriorship.”
I’m working hard to focus on my soft core these days. I no longer want to harden against life, to keep my emotions hostage while my ego rages on.
I want to stay open. I want to be free to hold my emotions to my heart as I move deeper into them rather than falling apart to escape them.
The question that I’ve been asking lately is how I should do this with people around me? People who want me to be happy. Who walk on tiptoes if they feel my emotions rising to the surface. People who don’t ask what’s happening when they feel something is wrong. People who don’t want to explore the depths of their mind or mine in the ways that I do.
I can imagine feeling freer to explore myself on retreat. I can imagine being lost in my own space with no one around to distract or consume me. I guess that is why people go on retreat, to have the freedom to explore that which can be more difficult to explore when surrounded by others.
Whats your experience been? Have you ever been on retreat? Do you have problems practicing with your emotions with other people around?
I’d love to hear about your experiences/ thoughts!